You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
