just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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