Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize