you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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