im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
