Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
