i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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