is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
