im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
