she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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