operation harelip BJ is a go
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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