Betty ford says i'm here all night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
