Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
A+ Viking dick
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