so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
