We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
