Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't deserve a penis
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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