he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
