they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
