worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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