Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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