Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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