let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
