hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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