Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
