whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
