Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize