billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize