i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
