who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
