I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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