Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
