I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
MIDGETS
????
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
