She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
