I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
