I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
