he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
