Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
