i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
