Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
