she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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