do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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