You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
