dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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