They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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