you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
