Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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