thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
