come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
