But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
