If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
