Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
