Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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