Dual....:-)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
