Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
