she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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