i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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