Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
COCAINE IS GR8
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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